I hate New Year’s resolutions.
Every year millions upon millions of people set benchmarks for the coming year. From losing 20 pounds to giving up drugs and taking aims to rid the world of leukemia, everyone jumps on the bandwagon of, “making a difference”
I laugh at people’s feeble attempts to change some aspect of their lives. I laugh because I know the patterns, routines, and idiosyncrasies that come to pass every year the clock strikes midnight.
We all revel in the party, the sex, and the drugs that come with the new year festivities, and when you get to break out your Dilbert 2011 calendar you are beyond ecstatic to write in all of your new activities for the new year that will lead to a bigger and better version of yourself.
Ultimately people step up, make a few drastic changes, and maintain their path to glory for a relatively short stint. Their motivation to follow through drops by about 113245 percent after the first week of the New Year and ultimately people fall back into their same mundane routines.
It is like watching a fat kid trying to grab a piece of cake while running in a hamster cage, you cant help but laugh and express dire all at the same time.
If people really gave a shit about changing some aspect of themselves, they would not wait for a new year to start hammering away at it. Making a judgment call to devour half of an apple pie and ten cosmos during New Year’s festivities with the desire to get in shape for the New Year is an oxymoron that you will never escape from.
Just like the budding humanitarian that puts off his new passion to work in soup kitchens for Sunday football, you too will fail if you make resolutions.
Instead of waiting to pull the trigger on January 1st, why not try doing something that matters today?
Instead of watching a marathon of Arrested Development, you could actually start writing that book that you have been clamoring on about. In Lou of watching the travel channel and pleasuring yourself to Anthony Bourdain, you could actually start researching and booking flights for that travel binge you always wanted to embark on.
It really is that simple people, if you want to make a lasting change in your life, don’t pussy foot around, start doing shit right now.